Andrew was a studious, pleasant and a happy boy in an outstanding Christian school. After his excellent results at Advanced Level studies he went to Makarere on government sponsorship. He was brought up well by good Christian parents. He always vowed to keep his virginity until his marriage. With that good intention he started his university studies.
Besides being intelligent Andrew is a very handsome young man and he was sociable and friendly. He does not need to spend too much time on his books to understand academic matters; he found time to work with an Event Organising Company. This besides giving him financial support opened him to a new world of entertainment, connections, glamour and fun.
Life in the university was thrilling and interesting to him. He found a new world, new friends, new freedom and it came with it new responsibilities. He got used to them rather quickly. While he was in the middle of his first semester at the campus he met Goretti, who soon became his friend. They remembered to have met each other during one of their school seminars.
Gorretti too comes from a similar family like Andrew and she was also an exemplary girl at a convent school. She too came to the Campus on merit and was a virgin. Andrew-Gorretti relationship that began on innocent note soon became deeper. Within two months of friendship they began to have sexual relationship. They promised each other that they will be ‘faithful partners’ and they will not move around with others. They even consoled themselves that counsellors tell them to be faithful to one partner. Now both have lost their virginity in their 20 years of age and in the first year of their university studies. Thus new chapter has begun in their life.
Now Andrew has become well known in his department and everyone wanted to hangout with him. Every girl dreamed of being his special friend. At this moment he comes across Brenda who was his course-mate. She was a party animal and gorgeous in her looks. Like Andrew Brenda too was very sociable and friendly. She brought up by a single mother who lived in a broken relationship with her ‘husband’. Brenda was proud of moving around with Andrew. After their three encounters of 20 minutes each they ended up in the arms of each other.
Young adults live in a make-believe relationship that makes them believe that three meetings are enough for sexual relationships. While some are naïve to believe that their sexual partners are ‘faithful’ and has ‘relationship’ only with them and for few others it is just fun. It is true of Goretti who was naïve and did not care to know the other relationships of Andrew. While this is the case with her, Brenda has fun with several other university guys and her former school-mates. Though Andrew knew about them, he did not care much about them.
Andrew behaves differently with different people. He keeps Goretti for friendship, Brenda for fun and other girls from his event managing company for business. With all them he has a ‘sexual network’. His biggest advantage is his captivating personality, good appearance, cool talk and intelligence well above his college-mates. These are enough reasons for campus girls to die for him. It is not known that he gives money or other favours to his ‘catches’. Indeed it is prestigious for his girls to hang around him.
Meanwhile Brenda, besides being hooked to Andrew well known to have at least four relationships with campus guys. It is not clearly known what she expects from them. But she has ‘great fun’ being in ‘net-work’ with over four men. Her choice falls on nice-looking young men who show off at games and music and young men whom she thinks gives her prestige in dating her.
Stories such as these are true and happening in the society in which we live. People involved in these sorry-state relationships do not share or reveal their relationship with others. Sometimes naively think that they are the only partner involved with the other person. Yes, sexual net work is really alive and big in our world of today. These make-believe relationship has many moral and social implications.
As this story is taken from university setting, it makes us believe that a morally upright person needs lot of moral courage and integrity to stay in a higher institution of learning. Sickness connected with this kind of reckless behaviour is obvious – AIDS/HIV and other infections. It makes young people believe that it is the order of the day and life can be live this way – and any how. As time goes many begin to live I-Don’t Care-Life. They begin to lose the sacredness of human sexuality, the value of good relationship, finding a partner for life, building a healthy family and making a commitment with the person they love. Getting into sexual network, that may excite or look adventurous or fun begins to taste bitter and ends up in loss of self-esteem, without which no decent life is possible.
The government that is conscious of this social problem, through its various machinery tries to inform the public the evil of sexual network. These days it speaks loud in Radio, TV, billboards, etc – Get off your sexual network and live a good life. But perhaps government machinery is not able suggest to the public moral guidelines for change. A young person who comes from Secondary School needs to have good back-up of personal moral standing. He/she needs to be supported by one’s family, community, church and other social setting. The church through its leaders need to address the issue through youth encounters, chaplaincies, seminars, catechism lessons, liturgies, counselling, etc. Parents should take responsibility in setting moral standard for their families in giving good examples in their own lives and monitoring the movements and behaviour of their children. Schools and institutions of learning should put in place disciplinary measures in curtailing students’ behaviour and punishing the culprits. Above all, every stakeholder responsible for the formation of young people, especially those in higher institutions get involved in the life of those entrusted to them in guiding them in right direction – making them God loving good citizens.
- What makes a “upright” youngster to lose one’s morals especially in sexual matters?
- Are you aware of any such stories and what lessons have you learnt from them?
- What advice you would give to a young person with such habits that ruins one’s life?